MSN Messenger Conspiracy

Conspiracy: (n) an act done in secret, often illegal, that is hidden from the public by fabricated common knowledge (history, evidence, etc).

Take a close look at these two pictures. Recognize them? You should: they are the two most widely used emoticons on MSN Messenger. This yellow face has invaded computers all over the world with its charming features and blatant expressions. You probably feel like you know this yellow baldhead like you know your best friend. But do you?

Take one more look at those two headshots. Do you notice anything interesting or disturbing about either of them? How about the fact that one of them has eyebrows and the other doesn't! These MSN people have been trying to make us believe that there is only ONE yellow-headed baldy on our computer screens... when there are actually TWO! 13 of the 25 emoticons have eyebrows, while the other 12 do not!

Naturally, after realizing this disturbing matter, my team of experts went immediately to work to dig up the reason behind why MSN Messenger would go and pull a mean trick like that. As was expected, nobody would tell us anything. However, during the process of all our intense research, we found something deeper and equally disturbing.

Brace yourselves for this one. If you look closely at these two pictures, presumably of the same person (the guy with the eyebrows), you probably won't notice anything odd about them. But to the trained eye, the inconsistency is obvious. The face on the left is darker than the one on the right! I'm serious. Did this guy go tanning between photo shoots? Or is it possible that there are actually three yellow men, two with eyebrows and one without?! The speculations are endless...

What does all this mean? At the moment, we know little more than you do. As we uncover new facts and evidence, we will post them here to keep you, the naive public, informed. As for now, all we have is theories:

1. The MSN government may have become fed up with their model's constant demand for raises and publicity... how they got rid of him, nobody knows...

2. Maybe MSN scientists are breeding genetically altered humans with yellow heads, and are keeping them locked up in their underground laboratories, feeding them dogfood and forcing them to pose for photos...

3. Could it be that there is no yellow-headed man at all? That MSN is creating these realistic images with the help of state-of-the-art computer software? However unlikely, we cannot ignore this possibility...

If you have any other theories or leads, feel free to post comments. As I said, we are all very much still in the dark about the entire issue right now. If I were you, though, I would lock my doors at night.